): ): ): ): ): edited
I cried for two whole hours,still crying now.
This is the second time since two months ago I cried like this.
The first time was during my Japan Trip Day 3.
I cried like hell the whole night & I tell no one about that.
Didn't go online for almost a week since monday.
Just a sudden urge t blog...
More vomiting,bleeding & medicines.
I feel so uncomfortable.
But still,there's a blow for me t bear.
I am too weak to face anything.
It will be two months when the clock strike twelve tonight.
Tick tick tick.
I just request for one time that you will be lead t here.
In these two months,keeping a private diary isn't easy.
This private diary, I thought it will hinder you.
And best shown to you when I'm in the coffin.
Yarh...
I aint a good daughter.
I aint a good friend.
I aint good in anyway.
I'm just a useless person..
But..
I have been trying very hard..
In these two months..
I have been trying very hard..
I jog I swim..
And I tried my best.
I seen results.
But I wanna be better...
Better..To get back what I lose in the past one year plus..
I never give up..
I don wanna give up so easily..
I believe in working hard to achieve something I really want.
I WANT TO GET WHAT I WANT! JUST WHAT I WANT.
I have my goals too.
But...
Who truly knows how I feel?
So hard to share.
So hard to shout it out loud.
I keep everything t myself.
The almighty up there.
If you wanna torture me.
Torture me like how you torture my aunt.
Let me suffer for 4 years everyday & take me away after 4 years.
Is that enough to cover up for everything I have done so wrong?