ANOTHER POST
Staring up into the sky last night.
Last night was the worst night.
All alone.
How I wish aunt jenny,samson & gordon could bring me up t join them.
Yarh,death isn't the solution.
But I'm suffering from mental & physical pain that's worse than death.
Tears rolled down on & on.
Everything. ):
This morning wasn't a good start either.
I'm far too blur with swollen eyes.
But I felt better with threecrappyfriends ard me.
Crapping,spotting lovely candies.
That made time passed faster.
But still,I'm stubborn.
Despite feeling sick,I went t jog.
Just vomited alot.
That's bad. ):
But thank god,I wasn't that weak in sch.
I tried t be positive.
But I'm far too tired.
Maybe yarh,no matter how hard I try.
I'm still USELESS.
Friend-less.
What's true friends?
Boo.
Guess I will keep everything t myself.
Let it bottled up.
And maybe a big tumour will grow in me soon.
And my health will be from bad t worse.
Yarh,once again.I'm useless.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007<3
Sunday, October 28, 2007<3
): ): ): ): ): edited
I cried for two whole hours,still crying now.
This is the second time since two months ago I cried like this.
The first time was during my Japan Trip Day 3.
I cried like hell the whole night & I tell no one about that.
Didn't go online for almost a week since monday.
Just a sudden urge t blog...
More vomiting,bleeding & medicines.
I feel so uncomfortable.
But still,there's a blow for me t bear.
I am too weak to face anything.
It will be two months when the clock strike twelve tonight.
Tick tick tick.
I just request for one time that you will be lead t here.
In these two months,keeping a private diary isn't easy.
This private diary, I thought it will hinder you.
And best shown to you when I'm in the coffin.
Yarh...
I aint a good daughter.
I aint a good friend.
I aint good in anyway.
I'm just a useless person..
But..
I have been trying very hard..
In these two months..
I have been trying very hard..
I jog I swim..
And I tried my best.
I seen results.
But I wanna be better...
Better..To get back what I lose in the past one year plus..
I never give up..
I don wanna give up so easily..
I believe in working hard to achieve something I really want.
I WANT TO GET WHAT I WANT! JUST WHAT I WANT.
I have my goals too.
But...
Who truly knows how I feel?
So hard to share.
So hard to shout it out loud.
I keep everything t myself.
The almighty up there.
If you wanna torture me.
Torture me like how you torture my aunt.
Let me suffer for 4 years everyday & take me away after 4 years.
Is that enough to cover up for everything I have done so wrong?
I cried for two whole hours,still crying now.
This is the second time since two months ago I cried like this.
The first time was during my Japan Trip Day 3.
I cried like hell the whole night & I tell no one about that.
Didn't go online for almost a week since monday.
Just a sudden urge t blog...
More vomiting,bleeding & medicines.
I feel so uncomfortable.
But still,there's a blow for me t bear.
I am too weak to face anything.
It will be two months when the clock strike twelve tonight.
Tick tick tick.
I just request for one time that you will be lead t here.
In these two months,keeping a private diary isn't easy.
This private diary, I thought it will hinder you.
And best shown to you when I'm in the coffin.
Yarh...
I aint a good daughter.
I aint a good friend.
I aint good in anyway.
I'm just a useless person..
But..
I have been trying very hard..
In these two months..
I have been trying very hard..
I jog I swim..
And I tried my best.
I seen results.
But I wanna be better...
Better..To get back what I lose in the past one year plus..
I never give up..
I don wanna give up so easily..
I believe in working hard to achieve something I really want.
I WANT TO GET WHAT I WANT! JUST WHAT I WANT.
I have my goals too.
But...
Who truly knows how I feel?
So hard to share.
So hard to shout it out loud.
I keep everything t myself.
The almighty up there.
If you wanna torture me.
Torture me like how you torture my aunt.
Let me suffer for 4 years everyday & take me away after 4 years.
Is that enough to cover up for everything I have done so wrong?
Tuesday, October 23, 2007<3
GOODBYE WORLD.
<3
ROXANNE'S 18th BIRTHDAY
Last week,grace,valentina & myself planned a mini birthday celebration for Roxanne in sch. We did a little bit of lying plus acting & the surprise went smoothly! Roxanne got surprised but she was clever enough t know that Valentina was lying.HAHA.
Roxanne!Get your car license fast! Drive us out of sch when rainy days come. (:
Last week,grace,valentina & myself planned a mini birthday celebration for Roxanne in sch. We did a little bit of lying plus acting & the surprise went smoothly! Roxanne got surprised but she was clever enough t know that Valentina was lying.HAHA.
Roxanne!Get your car license fast! Drive us out of sch when rainy days come. (:
Monday, October 22, 2007<3
TROUBLEMAKER
I know I have been a troublemaker in everyone's life.
I'm not as perfect as the others.
Always bringing unhappiness & troubles t all of you.
If that's so,i am going t keep my mouth shut.
I know I have been a troublemaker in everyone's life.
I'm not as perfect as the others.
Always bringing unhappiness & troubles t all of you.
If that's so,i am going t keep my mouth shut.
Sunday, October 21, 2007<3
LIFE,DEATH & SEPARATION
Have been going t places where I will see people going through facts of life.
It's painful but at the same time,there isn't any choices for us t choose.
Struggling between a thin line isn't easy at all. ):
Have been thinking really much recently & it's bringing me nowhere.
I'm feeling breathless & uncomfortable.
I wonder how would I feel if I were t lose those things.
Or when I burnt it in front of my eyes.
Should I go off for a while?
Is my time up yet?
Have been going t places where I will see people going through facts of life.
It's painful but at the same time,there isn't any choices for us t choose.
Struggling between a thin line isn't easy at all. ):
Have been thinking really much recently & it's bringing me nowhere.
I'm feeling breathless & uncomfortable.
I wonder how would I feel if I were t lose those things.
Or when I burnt it in front of my eyes.
Should I go off for a while?
Is my time up yet?
Friday, October 19, 2007<3
EMODE
Suddenly I felt tired of everything around me.I don feel like doing anything.I feel like getting away again.Yarh,maybe soon I'm going off again.
I lose my sense of direction.I don know which way t go.
I'm thinking if I were t lose those things,how would I feel?
Would i just give up or still continue t persist?
These are all question marks without answers.
Give me a break.
I'm neither sad nor happy.
Suddenly I felt tired of everything around me.I don feel like doing anything.I feel like getting away again.Yarh,maybe soon I'm going off again.
I lose my sense of direction.I don know which way t go.
I'm thinking if I were t lose those things,how would I feel?
Would i just give up or still continue t persist?
These are all question marks without answers.
Give me a break.
I'm neither sad nor happy.
Thursday, October 18, 2007<3
KONICHIWA
Konichiwa! I'm back from Japan with tiring legs.It took me a few days t settle down & get used t everything in Singapore again.The trip t Japan is enjoyable but not as good as Korea.But still Japan is loveee!
Sch had started two days back.It's lovely t see my friends again!It was crapping & catching up.
But I really dread the timetable for this semester.Start late,end late. ):
I'm a little too lazy t type more.
Updates on Japan soon!
Konichiwa! I'm back from Japan with tiring legs.It took me a few days t settle down & get used t everything in Singapore again.The trip t Japan is enjoyable but not as good as Korea.But still Japan is loveee!
Sch had started two days back.It's lovely t see my friends again!It was crapping & catching up.
But I really dread the timetable for this semester.Start late,end late. ):
I'm a little too lazy t type more.
Updates on Japan soon!
Sunday, October 07, 2007<3
I BELIEVE I CAN FLY
Soaring up into the sky.
Burying myself together with the clouds.
Soaring up into the sky.
Burying myself together with the clouds.
Saturday, October 06, 2007<3
MORNINGGGGG
Good morning(!) My eyes aren't doing me much help for being so wide open. ): I seriously feel tired but yet I can't get t sleep. Just finished my morning jog,hope it will at least make me tireeeed & I can catch some beauty sleep.
As I jog,thoughts ran through my mind.
No more complaining.
But still it bothers me.
Good morning(!) My eyes aren't doing me much help for being so wide open. ): I seriously feel tired but yet I can't get t sleep. Just finished my morning jog,hope it will at least make me tireeeed & I can catch some beauty sleep.
As I jog,thoughts ran through my mind.
No more complaining.
But still it bothers me.
Thursday, October 04, 2007<3
PAINNNNN & UPDATES
Blue-blacks,blisters & a hurt ankle! ):
Just now,I was nearly knocked down by a car while crossing the road.I was limping bcos of my hurt ankle & didn't pay much attention t the traffic hence the car just stopped about 3cm away from me.It did scared the freak out of me.And..I limped all the way back home.): A rather bad day for me.However,on a happier note,I highlight my hair today. :D It's a you-can-see&you-cannot-see kinda colour.
The other day,I met up with roxanne at town for a little catching up.It's great t see her after a long sch break.It was having lunch&shopping together.We each got something we like.More of these catching up yea? :D
Oh yarh,it's uber lovely t have lover by my side.We were on the phone,talking about our past blogs&archives and the way we blog a few years back is uberrrr funny larh! We can't help it but laughoutreallyloud at each other on the phone & please,parents are sleeping alr.HAHA.
I'm still hooked on t the korean drama, " MY GIRL ".I refused t pack my luggage even though mummy keep coming into my room @#$%^& & walk off. Well,I shall be a good girl tmr then.
Lover,I think we should stop day/night dreaming! Haha,our dreams are oh-so-similar larh.
Sweeeet yet bitter? Haha.
Blue-blacks,blisters & a hurt ankle! ):
Just now,I was nearly knocked down by a car while crossing the road.I was limping bcos of my hurt ankle & didn't pay much attention t the traffic hence the car just stopped about 3cm away from me.It did scared the freak out of me.And..I limped all the way back home.): A rather bad day for me.However,on a happier note,I highlight my hair today. :D It's a you-can-see&you-cannot-see kinda colour.
The other day,I met up with roxanne at town for a little catching up.It's great t see her after a long sch break.It was having lunch&shopping together.We each got something we like.More of these catching up yea? :D
Oh yarh,it's uber lovely t have lover by my side.We were on the phone,talking about our past blogs&archives and the way we blog a few years back is uberrrr funny larh! We can't help it but laughoutreallyloud at each other on the phone & please,parents are sleeping alr.HAHA.
I'm still hooked on t the korean drama, " MY GIRL ".I refused t pack my luggage even though mummy keep coming into my room @#$%^& & walk off. Well,I shall be a good girl tmr then.
Lover,I think we should stop day/night dreaming! Haha,our dreams are oh-so-similar larh.
Sweeeet yet bitter? Haha.